It is very scary when you start feeling that your life is not yours to control, that you are just trying to catch up with where it is going and you are not quite getting the grasp. That is how I am feeling at the moment. So many things happening, and I am not at the helm to control. Nothing big, just little things that just mount up to this big confusing jumble. I am supposed to feel excited to go away this weekend, to a place that I have always feel excited going. Yet all I feel is that. Too many things to take care of, too many things not yet done. Too uptight. Yes, I have not been sleeping well, waking up at 4 in the morning, thinking of things to be done. What is happening? Not quite sure myself. Am I out of my environment, out of my depth? Am I just worrying too much, like always? Are there really too many things happening? God knows.